Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Dream

On my blog
"Memory Box Creations", I posted
"Beyond the Veil",
which resulted from a dream
I had in September 1995, while bereaving the
sudden loss of my teenage daughter, Lacy.
I have chosen to share this dream to demonstrate
how my interpretations
allow me to not only process grief and tragedy,
but also serve to inspire me
to interact with these unseen realms as a
conduit to my poetic muse.
I am currently revisiting that time and writing
my personal account
of healing through loss, in the hopes that by doing so,
it may show others how writing can be a doorway to get
to the other side of healing a pain that one thinks will never heal.
Please know that I do continue to feel deep loss,
yet the love that I have for Lacy (Chantelle) remains.
However, the emotional pain is filtered and softened
the more that I write and share my story
with yourself.
The poem follows the Dream

Chantelle Lee Lace
November 25, 1975 - October 2, 1992

Dream ~ September 8, 1995
Chantelle had returned.
The dream is somewhat vague,
but I knew she was back with us.
I found that I felt so happy,
yet at the same time I was paralyzed by fear...
Of something happening to her again.
My fear was all-consuming.

Next scene…

I was looking through a very large window,
with extra-wide sills.
The window was arched at the top with exquisite,
antique crown mouldings and cornices.
There was no glass in the window…
I was compelled to gaze through the opening.
Off in the distance, I noticed an old house.
White stone walls offered a warm welcome.
I thought to myself,
how perfect would it be to be able
to live in this amazing house.

A voice…I hear it is haunted…
I spun around to see who spoke, but no one was there.
As I turned back toward the window,
there was a woman standing near the white stone house.
Everything had a grey cast, much like a black-and-white photo.
I looked into the depths of her eyes, and she
acknowledged my gaze by nodding her head.
She looked so sad
Although I was a little frightened,
I continued to stare.

Then, I smiled at her, and she returned the smile.
Our smiles seemed to unlock this still picture…
allowing her the freedom to walk towards me.
She wore a dark dress with an ivory lace collar and cuffs.
Her dark hair was piled up on top of her head.
She was a petite woman, with delicate features.
We did not speak aloud…communication was telepathic.
She recognized my fear and in some way calmed me.
As she approached the window, it ever so subtlety
changed to include a table and chairs.

She sat on one side while I remained on the other.
The archway was still prominent over us.
I immediately asked about Chantelle.
She told me that she also was experiencing some
bad dreams and finding it difficult to adjust without me.
She told me that we were both afraid and
therefore made things more difficult.
She told me that Chantelle comes to visit me in my dreams…
I noticed that she was watching my hands.
I sensed that she was going to touch me.
I immediately thought that if she did,
our visit might end and again I was frightened.

I felt compelled to look at her hands.
They looked transparent and unearthly.
She cupped my hand in hers…welcoming the connection
and commenting how warm I felt.
Such pleasure this seemed to give her.
She ever so gently lifted my hands up to her face,
touching her with the back of my hand.
She closed her eyes momentarily.
When she opened her eyes, she was weeping.
Tears filled her eyes to full.
Tears of joy, melancholy, love, sadness…
She was filled with such emotion; it was overwhelming.
I felt her love and understood.

I asked her to tell Chantelle that I loved her,
missed her and that I think of her every minute of the day.
I wanted to say so much more but I was so
overwhelmed that I was a loss for words.
She indicated that she now had to leave.
Surprisingly, she came around the table somehow to my side,
all the while continuing to hold my hands.
She reached out and hugged me ever so gently.

Together we cried…
I felt such calm and gained an understanding
for which words could never explain.
I know that Chantelle is not far away.
I realized that she is not meant to be here now
That somehow if she were here I would not be able
to fulfill my destiny, because my love for her
is so strong that I would live only for her.

My visitor, now ghost-like, was leaving.
A staircase appeared and as she climbed,
I noticed that the grey cast had lifted, and she
now was surrounded by dazzling translucent colors.

After experience….
Sept 9th , the next day…
My nephew’s wedding day…
Before the ceremony, I went inside to use the powder room.
Upon entering, my thoughts went back to my dream from last night…
This gorgeous old building was reminiscent of the white stone house in the dream
especially the big arched windows with wide window sills.
I wandered from room to room unnoticed.
This old building felt familiar, like I had been there before.
I embraced this serendipitous happening and thoroughly enjoyed my
nephew's wedding day...
all aglow with love and radiant color. 

Beyond The Veil
She came while I was resting
Spoke softly as I slept
Quiet tears of rapture
In dark silence, I wept.
Her essence did not threaten,
Her grace felt deep within
Her eyes conveyed such tenderness,
She chose to now begin.
She first appeared in shades of grey
Eyes downcast, colors dull.
But as she moved much closer,
Her being glowed with love.
I sensed a tinge of fear,
As she reached for my embrace
Her touch with kind caress
Cupped my hands up to her face.
Tears filled her eyes to full,
In her presence I felt safe.
This lady from the past
Transcended time and space.
She answered many queries
As trust and compassion grew,
She spoke of many things
That in my heart I knew were true.
When she turned to leave,
I saw the essence of her light.
The grey cast had been lifted
Replaced by colors bright.
Not only in my dreams
Will these miracles be found,
For our hearts with love eternal
Are now forever bound.



  1. Every word is beautiful. As are you.

  2. I imagine such a tragic loss will forever be impossible to forget, yet hopefully you continue to find comfort and resolution through your poetry. Thank you for sharing.

  3. I don't know how you do it,but you convey the feelings,and reality that only you can see.Because of your ability we mere mortals are enriched.I am in awe.

  4. This is a monumental piece of prose/poetry, Helena. It is amazing to see the amount of growth that has come from your great loss. Dreaming...writing...journaling...rhyming - all a part of your destiny that you have blessed us with through your sharing.

    The profundity of this dream and poem will stay with me always. Lacy (Chantelle) will never be forgotten due to the creative ways that you continue to immortalize her Spirit through your heart-touching writings.

    The pictures you find to go along with the posts are also incredible. Thank you for sharing such an intimate dream and how it inspired you to fulfill that part of yourself that was destined to become a great writer.

  5. I reread you post today,beautiful. Also I love the pictures you add to your posts.


With this blog, my intentions are to step outside of my comfort zone of living to please others, in the hopes of finding like-minded friends and writers who seek to share ideas, ponder choices, and explore inspirations. I appreciate all comments on my blog (positive or negative) as a means of encouraging an ever-evolving dialogue.