The Dream

On my blog

"Memory Box Creations", I posted

"Beyond the Veil",

which resulted from a dream

I had in September 1995, while bereaving the

sudden loss of my teenage daughter, Lacy.

I have chosen to share this dream to demonstrate

how my interpretations

allow me to not only process grief and tragedy,

but also serve to inspire me

to interact with these unseen realms as a

conduit to my poetic muse.

I am currently revisiting that time and writing

my personal account

of healing through loss, in the hopes that by doing so,

it may show others how writing can be a doorway to get

to the other side of healing a pain that one thinks will never heal.

Please know that I do continue to feel deep loss,

yet the love that I have for Lacy (Chantelle) remains.

However, the emotional pain is filtered and softened

the more that I write and share my story

with others...like yourself.

The poem follows the Dream

Chantelle Lee Lace

November 25, 1975 - October 2, 1992

Dream ~ September 8, 1995

Chantelle had returned.

The dream is somewhat vague,

but I knew she was back with us.

I found that I felt so happy,

yet at the same time I was paralyzed by fear...

Of something happening to her again.

My fear was all-consuming.

Next scene…

I was looking through a very large window,

with extra-wide sills.

The window was arched at the top with exquisite,

antique crown mouldings and cornices.

There was no glass in the window…

I was compelled to gaze through the opening.

Off in the distance, I noticed an old house.

White stone walls offered a warm welcome.

I thought to myself,

how perfect would it be to be able

to live in this amazing house.

A voice…I hear it is haunted…

I spun around to see who spoke, but no one was there.

As I turned back toward the window,

there was a woman standing near the white stone house.

Everything had a grey cast, much like a black-and-white photo.

I looked into the depths of her eyes, and she

acknowledged my gaze by nodding her head.

She looked so sad

Although I was a little frightened,

I continued to stare.

Then, I smiled at her, and she returned the smile.

Our smiles seemed to unlock this still picture…

allowing her the freedom to walk towards me.

She wore a dark dress with an ivory lace collar and cuffs.

Her dark hair was piled up on top of her head.

She was a petite woman, with delicate features.

We did not speak aloud…communication was telepathic.

She recognized my fear and in some way calmed me.

As she approached the window, it ever so subtlety

changed to include a table and chairs.

She sat on one side while I remained on the other.

The archway was still prominent over us.

I immediately asked about Chantelle.

She told me that she also was experiencing some

bad dreams and finding it difficult to adjust without me.

She told me that we were both afraid and

therefore made things more difficult.

She told me that Chantelle comes to visit me in my dreams…

I noticed that she was watching my hands.

I sensed that she was going to touch me.

I immediately thought that if she did,

our visit might end and again I was frightened.

I felt compelled to look at her hands.

They looked transparent and unearthly.

She cupped my hand in hers…welcoming the connection

and commenting how warm I felt.

Such pleasure this seemed to give her.

She ever so gently lifted my hands up to her face,

touching her with the back of my hand.

She closed her eyes momentarily.

When she opened her eyes, she was weeping.

Tears filled her eyes to full.

Tears of joy, melancholy, love, sadness…

She was filled with such emotion; it was overwhelming.

I felt her love and understood.

I asked her to tell Chantelle that I loved her,

missed her and that I think of her every minute of the day.

I wanted to say so much more but I was so

overwhelmed that I was a loss for words.

She indicated that she now had to leave.

Surprisingly, she came around the table somehow to my side,

all the while continuing to hold my hands.

She reached out and hugged me ever so gently.

Together we cried…

I felt such calm and gained an understanding

for which words could never explain.

I know that Chantelle is not far away.

I realized that she is not meant to be here now

That somehow if she were here I would not be able

to fulfill my destiny, because my love for her

is so strong that I would live only for her.

My visitor, now ghost-like, was leaving.

A staircase appeared and as she climbed,

I noticed that the grey cast had lifted, and she

now was surrounded by dazzling translucent colors.

After experience….
Sept 9th , the next day…

My nephew’s wedding day…

Before the ceremony, I went inside to use the powder room.

Upon entering, my thoughts went back to my dream from last night…

This gorgeous old building was reminiscent of the white stone house in the dream

especially the big arched windows with wide window sills.

I wandered from room to room unnoticed.

This old building felt familiar, like I had been there before.

I embraced this serendipitous happening and thoroughly enjoyed my

nephew's wedding day...

all aglow with love and radiant color. 

Beyond The Veil

She came while I was resting

Spoke softly as I slept

Quiet tears of rapture

In dark silence, I wept.

Her essence did not threaten,

Her grace felt deep within

Her eyes conveyed such tenderness,

She chose to now begin.

She first appeared in shades of grey

Eyes downcast, colors dull.

But as she moved much closer,

Her being glowed with love.

I sensed a tinge of fear,

As she reached for my embrace

Her touch with kind caress

Cupped my hands up to her face.

Tears filled her eyes to full,

In her presence I felt safe.

This lady from the past

Transcended time and space.

She answered many queries

As trust and compassion grew,

She spoke of many things

That in my heart I knew were true.

When she turned to leave,

I saw the essence of her light.

The grey cast had been lifted

Replaced by colors bright.

Not only in my dreams

Will these miracles be found,

For our hearts with love eternal

Are now forever bound.

Hεlεɳa